schweblog

MySpace, I used to think, was a self-absorbed, vapid website that does little more than provide an avenue for narcissists to prance around on the side of the information superhighway. Actually, I still think it is that very same thing. However, even the useless garbage of the internet sometimes comes in handy for the occasional bit of entertainment.

I checked an old email account the other day and after wading through miles of spam, I discovered a notification from MySpace…why, I had a message! After trying to login unsuccessfully several times, I finally remembered my password and made it to my homepage. I think I initially signed up when I mistook it for a journaling device (this was before I had discovered Blogger and before they implemented the blogging tools).

There it was, in all its glory: the useless front page of a man who just didn’t give a shit. Blank space, one picture…compared to the other MySpace profiles I’ve been exposed to, mine was barren. No attached MP3 files. No links to quizzes to figure out what flavor of fruit snack you would be. The the flashy red text reminded me: I had a message!

Turns out, a gal from school ended up stumbling upon my profile. I had dated this girl in 7th or 8th grade (i.e. held hands with her at lunch). We conversed for a little while and I’ll be having lunch with her sometime soon. One (small) point for MySpace.

Then I started poking around. Holy crap, there were a lot of people from my school (it allows you to search for alumni from any particular institution)! After a few misses, I stumbled upon some old classmates that I hardly remembered. Hardly anyone had changed–the jock I went to elementary school with had a page filled with (you guessed it!) pictures of him in his football uniform. The “popular” gals were still popular, this time touting it with pictures of them and their beautiful friends drinking, partying, shopping, or smoking weed. Everything has changed. Nothing has changed.

And then I hit it. The jackpot. A gal I used to know, a very meek, quiet girl. She liked me throughout elementary school and she slipped from my social circle more as I entered high school. But here she was. With her own MySpace page. I glanced through it, halfway interested. And suddenly, out of nowhere, there’s a picture of this girl wearing nothing more than a black tanga and a high-cut t-shirt. Then the real kicker: this girl is a registered, active, posing member of Suicide Girls. My jaw damn near hit the floor. Further research revealed that she did, indeed, have pictures posted.

So there it is. MySpace, still the bastion of self-absorption and attention-whoredness that it always was, really can deliver. And oh, how it delivered. Apparently this girl still lives in Albuquerque…I’m tempted to contact her, just so I can sit down with this epitome of change for lunch sometime and soak it all in. If life is a divine comedy, my friends, then MySpace is the cast list.

Filed under: culture, general by Jesse