schweblog

We’ve always been different, he and I. Initially our differences were minimal and rather unmentionable–he liked to hunt and fish a little bit more than me, but we still both enjoyed the outdoors. I was always reading a little bit ahead of him, but we still both liked books. We got involved with different types of people, but we still both retained a little bit of that nerdiness.

Now that we’re getting older, though, the differences are becoming more prominent and the gap between is widening. Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when our paths diverged, though, is difficult. We both got involved with the “cool” crowd around 8th and 9th grade. I ended up getting involved with drama and acting, whereas Ian didn’t really have any sort of activity that kept him busy. He was working. And hanging out with his friends.

Pretty soon it became apparent that we were clearly on different paths. He was getting drunk before I had even had an entire drink. Girls of every age were approaching him from left and right, while I was deeply involved emotionally with one woman. When I was thinking about emotions, love, and acting, he was thinking about the next party, the next lay, and where he was going to get the beer from.

I can’t really say that one lifestyle is better than the other. I understand he and I have our differences…that people have to grow up and tend to do so in different ways. But it’s just getting hard to relate to him, now that he’s taken up smoking and has cheated–multiple times–on his girlfriend. I realized a few months ago that if he wasn’t my brother, I wouldn’t associate with him–he’s grown into the type of person that I thoroughly dislike and avoid at all costs. In sum, he’s well on his way to becoming the archetypical frat boy.

He’s graduating this year. I don’t know where he’s going or if I’m going to see him as much. He’s also taken up smoking. Again, it’s not all bad, but he’s changing. What’s going to happen when he’s no longer forced to see my when I come out to visit and we conveniently see each other on occassion? Will it all end? I think I already miss him.