On dealing with the universal self-interest argument

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There’s a fairly popular argument amongst the pseudo-philosophy crowd that rejects the possibility of any sort of completely generous, disinterested act. According to the argument, everything a person does is driven by a core self-interest in promoting one’s own well-being or sense of well-being. While seemingly simplistic and overgeneralized, it’s a difficult argument to deal with effectively.

The nut’s so tough to crack because there’s an ease of use here which is typically present in most tautological arguments: the basic assumption of the argument also proves itself through assertion. In layman’s terms, the argument works because it has to. Represented as a logical proof, we’d have something like:

X
X
Therefore, X. (QED, bitches.)
Basically, one claims that all human action is based in self-interest and, when questioned, explains away the challenge by once again citing their assertion. They rarely ever provide any foundation for their claim. Thus, it becomes tautological. While logically valid, it remains somewhat unsound.

Most people are compelled to respond to the argument by citing a presumably selfless act, like giving away money to a charity anonymously. Our advocate of self-interest simply cites some psychological satisfaction gained by anonymous donations on behalf of the agent. Using this method of attack, you can never find a human action that could fall outside of self-interestedness.

Instead, go the other route. Rather than looking upwards for a shining example of selfless humanity, cast your gaze downward, towards the worst-of-the-worst human beings. Now that we’re looking at the scum of the earth, refine your search to find the Achilles’ heel for the argument: the evil genius. Cite whatever you’d like: Bond movies, 1950s B-movies, a Captain Planet episode, whatever.

Now, the classic evil genius isn’t interested in money. Or babes. Or world domination. They’re hellbent on the destruction of mankind and, sometimes if they’re really evil, all living things (avoid the villains in the Captain Planet episodes that are focused on killing all pandas or giraffes–we’re looking for universal death here). Usually this revelation is followed by another realization on behalf of our hero and/or their assistant/accomplice–that means (gasp!) that they will be destroyed as well. QED, bitches: we have someone striving for an act that goes directly against their own self-interest by the very virtue of the fact that it would lead to their own demise.

When faced with the evil genius argument in light of their self-affirming tautologies, the advocate of universal self-interest will either:

(a) break down in a crumpled mess under the crushing weight of having their entire worldview shattered
or
(b) argue that one’s own demise could, potentially, be self-interested

In the case of (a), comfort them and provide them with some good reading. Or a beer. In the case of (b), artfully inquire into their life insurance policy and see if you can weasel your way into the position of sole beneficiary via sexual favors or homecooked meals. Devious? Yes. But you’re doing them a favor by proving them right.

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