schweblog

Faced with impending graduation with a degree in the liberal arts, I have crumpled several times over the past few weeks under the weight of the realization that, upon receiving my BA, I will have absolutely no direction. Engineering majors have it easy: you graduate, evaluate the relative benefits of more education, and eventually settle on a job that directly correlates with your area of specialty. Ditto with business majors: although a tad more open-ended than engineering degress, business majors are “put on track” quite directly after completing their degree.

With something like philosophy, though, the opportunities are either boundless or non-existent, depending on your willingness to put your neck out there and just do something. Still, that lack of direction is difficult to handle. People talk about the directionless nature of college and the potentially harmful consequences that a fresh-out-of-high school student can suffer (partying, flunking, etc.). That free, open-ended environment is magnified ten-fold after you graduate.

I don’t fear my own lack of motivation or willingness to go into new fields: change is something I embrace, the desire to succeed and make a name for myself is nearly boundless. The problem isn’t that I have nothing to do upon graduating–the problem is that there’s too much to do and I’m not certain which path will make me happiest. I read somewhere a little while back that the best way to find your calling in life was to identify what you really love doing and identify what you’re really good at that most others are not. Find where those two meet and you’re likely to find the job of your dreams.

Fair enough. I’m really good at reading, synthesizing, and understanding information given to me, then sculpting that raw mental data into something understandable and, hopefully, unique: that’s what philosophy is all about. The kicker is, I love to do that exact same thing. If you give me an hour of free time, reading an engaging, interesting book is at the top of my list. Discussing it with other people is right up there, as well. So I don’t really have two paths–what I like to do and what I’m good at. Instead, it seems that, when told to follow my passions, I did so. And now I’m at an impasse:

Think tanks appeal to me, but I wouldn’t know how to even get my foot in the door. I’m too unwilling to kiss ass or ascribe to some absurd political doctrine to get a place where I could sit around and form ideas with other people. That pretty much discounts 99% of the existing institutions.

Writing also appeals to me, but it, too, is political. Have a great book ready for publication? Don’t have an already-established author to vouch for you in print on your dust jacket? You’re pretty much fucked, if you ever want to turn it into a viable living for yourself.

The legal profession also appeals to me, but more in a professorial sense. I’d rather not have to wade through the internships and arguments over details just so I could sit in front of a bunch of rich kids and teach them how to do the same. I hear getting a teaching position in law school without some experience in front of the bar is damn near impossible.

I’m at a loss. I want do what I love. I don’t want to have a job that pushes me closer to suicide/homicide/a life of crime each day. But I have absolutely no idea what this job is, or if it even exists.