Nagging eschatology

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End-of-the-world scenarios have been running through my head a lot lately.  More than usual, actually.  Most cases involve zombies and typically bubble up from my subconscious when I’m in class and not really enjoying myself.  I take a look at people—their general build, their shoes, and potential defensive implements that they have on their person—and then run a standard zombie infestation scenario through my head, sizing up each person’s chance of survival.  Maybe, maybe 10% of the people in the classroom would survive to see another day without the desire to feast on brains; it’s nothing personal, really.  I’m also mapping out the best escape route.

Other times it’s a nuclear winter and I meditate on The Road, how it would feel to head for a destination you’re not even sure exists.  How you would survive.  How you would deal with the breakdown of the state.  How you would have to defend yourself from terrible people.  Maybe zombies here, too, people all morphed and fucked up by the radiation.  Food would be scarce.  And I couldn’t even grow it.  Maybe I should buy more bottled water.  Maybe I should buy one of those buckets with, like, 100 MREs in them and store it in my closet.  Would 100 be enough?  I should probably buy a gun.  Just in case.

This kind of thing has been pretty standard for several years now, but now it’s creeping into other considerations in my life.  As a single fellow, I regularly check out members of the opposite sex.  I’ve always paid special attention to certain features that I particularly like—hips, hair, skin…but I now find myself increasingly concerned with each potential mate’s likelihood of survival in an apocalyptic situation.  Could she defend herself from zombies long enough that I could leave our urban fortress to gather supplies?  Would she have the wherewithall to really handle the collapse of society?  Could I deal with being cooped up with her days, weeks, months on end?

I’m not sure really what any of this means.

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